This could only happen to a farmer………..

Yesterday I went to the county courthouse to file some papers.  They have a new security system set up as you come in the door, and I was required to set my purse into a basket before stepping through a metal detector.  After passing through the metal detector, I grabbed my purse back out of the basket, which was when I noticed a clump of mud in the basket.  I looked over my purse, and sure enough, there was a big clump of mud on my purse.  I started to apologize to the fellow who checked me through, but he had already turned away and had started the inspection process with another person.

I went to drop off my papers, and then decided I should find a restroom to wipe the mud off my purse.  So I grab some paper towel and start scrubbing my purse, which is when I realize that the mud on my purse is NOT MUD !!!  It is some kind of farm animal _ _ _ _, and I have no idea what kind, or how it got there.  And if it’s not mud on my purse, it is NOT MUD back there in the basket!  I start laughing uncontrollably, and know I will look like a crazy woman if someone comes into the restroom.  Then I realize that I have to walk by the fellow and the basket again to leave the building, and I laugh until I cry.  Luckily, no one comes into the restroom to question my sanity.  As I am leaving the building, I am extremely relieved to see that a different person is at the security check point now, and he doesn’t even glance at me as I leave; he is too busy scrubbing out the basket………….

I think I will refer to  this caper as the Courthouse Pooper Blooper.

I’m sure the pigs were just waiting until my husband, Mike, went out of town for a few days; then they implemented their break out plan.

Day one of the break out plan, our 20 pigs were successful in the initial break out phase and the kids spent four hours chasing them, trying to keep them out of my gardens and the corn fields while our son, Scott, worked on fixing the fence.

Day two of the break out plan got an early start, a new more daring escape plan was discovered at 7:45 a.m.  Luckily, Jenny and Megan had not left for school yet, so instead of exercising their brains for the next four hours, they exercised their legs chasing piggies instead.

When we finally figured out that the fencer wasn’t working properly and needed to be replaced, I sent Jenny and Megan to town to buy a new one.  When they came home from town with the new fencer, they informed me that they had just experienced the most embarrassing moment of their ENTIRE LIVES upon going to buy the fencer!  It seems a male worker came up to them, sniffed, and said loudly, “Have you girls been chasing pigs?”  They were absolutely mortified to think that they smelled like pigs, and I absolutely loved it; it was the best laugh I had all week!  Somehow the girls didn’t make the connection that I had called the store to ask about pricing and sizes of fencers before I sent them to pick one up; the fellow who helped me on the phone knew our predicament and was teasing the girls.  I don’t think I’ll tell them for a while that they probably didn’t smell ……………….. it makes the whole pig escapade a little more flavorful!

Then, when I went to write Jenny and Megan’s absence notes for school, I was given strict instructions, “DO NOT WRITE THAT WE WERE CHASING PIGS!!”  Oh my, so embarrassing……………..  hee hee.